Take Control

So, recently I realized that I'm not yet healed. Initially, I thought one was healed when they no longer care for nor think of their ex, but it's more than that. Emotionally, I'm still scarred. I have an "I'll get you first" attitude when it comes to the opposite sex. I don't want to be taken advantage of so instead of being the person I used to be, I anticipate disrespect. I was called out on it and it hurt me badly. I don't want to be like this, but trauma doesn't show side effects until the situation has passed. I have decided that although I got myself into this emotional bind, I know that God can help me get out of it. I ran away from God so I could hold onto my relationship, and He allowed me to come back when it didn't work out. Now, that's unconditional love. I've decided that I need some time for me. Before I can get into anything serious, I need to know who I am first. I can't bring anything to the table if I'm not whole. I want the person I'm with to have the whole and emotionally healthy me and not the insecure person that my past relationship has brought out of me. I'm ready to take control of me.